On Death & Dying

We've long been fascinated by the final act, the drawing of one's last breath. Dying is a profound experience, second only to being born. We devoted an entire chapter to it in our book, "Perfect Breathing." We learned a great deal about the dynamics of that final breath in talking with hospice worker Marcella Brady, who shared her experiences in helping dying people find peace as they leave this world. And we've have learned more in a thoughtful two-part piece by Ann Catlin, a licensed massage therapist writing for Massage Today.

In Part One, she talks about the pain of life-limiting illness, and the substantial effect that massage can play in palliative care. In Part Two, she really caught our attention with her use of the breath. She sets up a frame of reference for helping dying people, and offered three key points: Dying is not just a medical event; dying is a part of living; and dying is a deeply personal experience.

She incorporates synchronized breathing in her healing touch, which she teaches to hospice workers. As she states:

"Synchronized Breathing. This technique is effective to help ease difficult breathing. It involves synchronizing your own breath with simple massage strokes. First synchronize the
rhythm of your own breath with slow effleurage strokes; breathing in as
your hands move distally (toward your own body). Then breathe out as
your hands move away from you. Let the sound of your breath be audible.
This is a silent interaction. No words are necessary to encourage a
natural synchronization with the rhythms of your breath and touch. If
the person cannot tolerate physical contact you may remove the touch
and focus only on the breath."

As Marcella Brady told us in our interviews with her, "Consciousness during death is different. It is much deeper when a person is dying. They are standing in two worlds, at the intersection. There is hesitation as they don't know where it leads. It is a very intense moment when it occurs. It is about your body and your spirit separating. You don't live and then die. It is a process that occurs through our entire life, but when someone hits the transition point I can often walk into a room and feel it. I used to bed focused on the shell on the bed and I was not conscious of what was really occurring. But now if I am conscious and aware of breathing, I can feel the presence in the entire room. You can see and feel this light. It is really quite amazing."

Words to live by.

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